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Projects
moose
ilovelife94

We do a lot of "projects."

What's the meaning of life? Working? Writing? Reading? Education? Self betterment? Compassion?

It doesn't matter. I guess the meaning of life is not being too bored and fat and lazy.

So I like the projects.

Creighton works on cars. He likes playing with the tools, getting dirty and hot and sweaty and putting the cars up on these horrifying cheap jack stands I don't trust because they make these awful noises like the car is just going to roll over on top of me at any given second. I imagine severed arms and trips to the hospital. Yesterday he did an oil change on his Nissan Versa. The Nissan Versa is basically the shittiest most basic vehicle money can buy. But he hit 60,000 miles and the manufacturer tells you you have to do all this shit when you hit certain mileage marks. You probably should do it, just like you maybe should get your oil changed every three months and change your contacts every two weeks. But I don’t. I wait three, four weeks until my contacts are super uncomfortable, and I drive my car for a few thousand miles over 3,000 before I go in for an oil change. I’m convinced these dumb schedules are just another way for them to ensure that you pay for shit. So I try to test the limits of that. But the oil change, that was needed. Lots of road trips recently, and way past the mark. He tried to jump over the pan of old car oil he had drained and got it all over his jeans. Black oil doesn’t come out of jeans very well. Thankfully they were old jeans. It also soaked the toolbox. Oil’s such a bitch to clean up because of the whole not-mixing-with-water thing.

I made pickles. I like canning, Brian and I took a canning class in Greenwood and made a couple batches of different stuff — strawberry preserves, apple jelly, pickles, relish. I still have some of it. I need to figure out what I’m going to do with our tomatoes. But it’s a fun pastime even though it can get expensive and time-consuming. Lots of chopping. They didn’t have all the ingredients I need (they never do) so I just kind of winged it. Winging it turned out surprisingly well with canning in the past. Of course I didn’t make enough of the vinegar shit so I had to make another batch in the middle of the process and still didn’t have enough. For the last can, I just dumped some extra vinegar and water on top of the cucumbers. That’s going to be a gross batch. Unless you like your pickles super vinegary. I wish I had taken pictures, and I thought about it, but then I forgot. It was kind of hectic. My canner system doesn’t work very well. We have this huge pasta pot with a strainer insert because you need a rack at the bottom, so we just use that, but the strainer doesn’t sit far enough down in the pot, so to cover the tops of the cans with the recommended 1-2 inches of water, you have to overflow the pot. With rollicking boiling water. I got water everywhere, including underneath the surface of the stove. I was afraid for a minute I would start an electrical fire and not know what to do. But all the cans sealed, no fire. I also combined two different recipes, so I’m going to have super dilly super mustardy super vinegary pickles that may or may not contain botulism. I always remind myself when I eat something questionable (which happens way more often than might be normal, I don’t know, maybe people eat questionable things all the time because the FDA is full of shit and Americans are overparanoid about their health or whatever) that if I do get sick, to tell the doctors to check for botulism. If they catch it, they can treat it, right? Theoretically. Maybe I’ll get septic and die like that little boy in New York from being in the hospital. That almost happened to our dog, once.

Future projects with commentary (will hopefully include pictures):

·      Homebrew beer — painfully hip, but yet might be cost efficient if we can find the equipment and ingredients for cheap. I have a huge library book with some interesting recipes. Who knows. Might not even come to fruition, but might be worth a shot.

·      Reupholster the couch — New couches are absurdly expensive. Ours has some pretty horrendous stains and smells. We need a sewing machine, though, and I’m intimidated by the process.

·      Produce co-op or laundry basket produce service? — Would give me more shit to can. I want to make salsa. I also love vegetables, as health-food pretentious asshole as that is. It’s just true.

·      Make more taquitos — We discovered cooking your own black beans. They take 16 hours to cook, but then you have a shit-ton of black beans. I think Creighton discovered this trick from that Mr. Money Moustache blog. He has a lot of shit on how to save money and be financially independent, consumer detox and all that, but really he’s just an ass. Every time Creighton brings him up, I bristle a little bit. I feel like he’s totally not transparent and fabricates or stretches a lot of things WHILE being a douche.

·      Make new coffee table from wooden crates — Pinterest project. Will probably turn out shitty, but fun to do.

·      Cake stand sink decoration — Also from Pinterest. Could be cute. I have to buy a cake stand, though, and put the soap and dish scrubber and hand towel on it, and then this project is basically complete.

·      Wallpaper/paint the back of the bookshelves? — Did you know they don’t sell wallpaper at Home Depot anymore? I guess that shit is going out of style. When I was young it was, like, the cool thing to do. Had no idea this wasn’t the fad anymore. Had no idea wallpaper WAS a fad.

·      Plan an Auburn trip with Andrew — Really would just like to go to a game, and if Andrew wants to come that could be cool. Maybe we’ll stay with Cliff or Cody and party.

·      Plan a VA Tech trip with Maria — Because she’s awesome and weird as fuck.

·      Bike tune-up — Because it needs it.

·      Re-pot Lewis — the plant my mom and I picked out. He adopted me at Lowes or the shitty garden section of Walmart, I don’t remember. They’re these little patio plants. My parents have one and so do I. They’re super easy to take care of because they’re super hard to kill. Lewis got very little sunlight or water for about six months and is still fairly green. Love that dude. Unlike the tomato plants, which were so finicky I finally just called it quits. I’m pretty sure they had that withering yellow tomato virus anyway.

·      Oil changes — My car still needs one.

·      Book clubs — Trying to read Infinite Jest with two dudes I knew from college who are way faster readers than I am, and Infinite Jest is already one intimidating motherfucker. I’m trying to remind myself that I’m not THAT woefully inexperienced with David Foster Wallace and challenging books. Trying to finish Ender’s Game. Trying to keep up with the Jaimie book club and read One Hundred Years of Solitude (we read Faulkner’s Sanctuary, The Secret Lives of People in Love by Simon van Booy, and The Secret History by Donna Tartt, which is Creighton’s favorite book ever, so naturally I was curious and it’s my favorite so far. Really good, really intriguing. One of those books you get sucked into. One Hundred Years of Solitude was called “the only book since the book of Genesis that should be required reading for the entire human race” by the New York Times, so naturally I’ve always wanted to read it. I’m a sucker for some blurbs and over-generalized statements like that. Although I do believe that every booklover person should have that one book, not necessarily their favorite or whatever, but that one book that they think everyone should read. Mine’s Gatsby. Cliché and typical, but so what?

We’ll see how all this shit goes.


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